Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize