2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize