My liver just broke up with me...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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