I want to stick my p in your. b.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
