She's JV to your varsity
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
