We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
