I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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