I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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