So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
