I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
