i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
