she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
