I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
