What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
