I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
