So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize