I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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