4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
return my video game
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
