he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
