I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
