Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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