she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I need to sanitize my soul.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize