I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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