Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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