I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
