the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
