Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
