I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
