idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's never too late to be topless.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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