Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
