I think my vagina is haunted
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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