My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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