I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
