some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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