he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And the cops told us we were all naked.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
