Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
