it was like his penis was on wheels.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
