In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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