And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
