Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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