You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
