you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
