did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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