i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
