Small penises have feelings too.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
