Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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