just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
