First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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