dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
