I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
