Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
