Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
