Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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