They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
