What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
