Screwed.edu
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we're chasing vodka with high fives
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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