he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
