We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just invented taco cereal.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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