so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
