As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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