the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I want her autograph on my taint
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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