i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
