UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize