You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
