he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
