my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
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