that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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