What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
