You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
