What a fucking waste of an outfit
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
