She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
