Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize