Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
