Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.

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(503): View more from Oregon

iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.

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(330): View more from Ohio

The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.

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(845): View more from New York

you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively

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(519): View more from Ontario

isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?

(416): View more from Toronto

yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.

(519): View more from Ontario

next time on intervention

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....

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