paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
