I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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