Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
