You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
