her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
