no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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