The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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