What did we do last night that was yellow?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
