just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
